Ten funny Christmas jokes

Professional funnymen Wayne Deakin and Daniel Townes share their favourite festive gags ahead of local gigs

Ten funny Christmas jokes
Ten funny Christmas jokes Image #2
Daniel Townes

Why did the turkey cross the road?
Are you kidding? It's Christmas – he should run a mile.

Who's the bane of Santa's life?
The elf and safety officer.

What is Nigella getting for Christmas?
Half of everything.

The Chuckle Brothers have only just finished opening their Christmas presents from last year.
The labelling was a nightmare.

How did Darth Vader know what Luke Skywalker was getting for Christmas?
He felt his presents.

Wayne Deakin

What do you call a cat in the desert?
Sandy Claws!

Who delivers presents to cats?
Santa Paws!

What do you call Father Christmas in the beach?
Sandy Clause!

What did the sea say to Santa?
Nothing! It just waved!

What does Santa do with fat elves?
He sends them to an Elf Farm!

Catch Wayne and Daniel live across the region with the Punchline Comedy Club: Danat Hotel Al Ain on Wednesday 4th December, Jumeirah Creekside Hotel on Thursday 5th December, Abu Dhabi Golf Club on Friday 6th December. All gigs start ay 9pm with tickets starting at Dhs150 from www.timeouttickets.com

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