If there’s one way to work up a mighty appetite, it’s stomping around a blazing hot golf course, repeatedly whacking a little white ball into a lake. In the past year or so, the city’s golf courses have grown wise to this fact, each opening plush dining venues that go beyond the scruffy, drink-orientated 19th holes of old. Abu Dhabi Golf Club’s offering is The Grille, a characterless, beige and brown restaurant with cosy booths at one end and a view over the course’s lush greenery. And while it certainly provides comfortable respite from those unforgiving fairways, the food and service are sadly well below par.

It’s a shame, really, because the menu shows signs of real promise. Forget burgers, nachos and the usual clubhouse nosh – this is all-out fine dining fare and at the prices we were expected to pay for it, we’d prepared ourselves for something special. From the off, though, things weren’t quite right; our starters of sautéed calamari and seared sea scallops with apple relish both drastically overcooked. The fillet steak that followed confirmed that we hadn’t just caught the man in the kitchen napping, with our main course displaying a fundamental misunderstanding of the flavours and textures that sit well on the human palate. The meat itself – though also overdone – wasn’t too bad, but the slab of foie gras sitting atop it was chilled, treating our mouth to a grim contrast of hot and cold; a similar sensation to biting into a fish finger that’s still frozen in the middle. We can usually deal with the inherent conscience-pricking that comes with eating the pâtéd liver of a tortured goose, but that any animal should have suffered for such an unpalatable dish is a genuine crime, leaving us to pick up the bill feeling doubly bad about our evening.

The bill
Seared scallops Dhs80
Sautéed calamari Dhs65
Fillet steak with foie gras Dhs250
Char-grilled duck breast Dhs95
Chocolate fondant Dhs50
Apple and rhubarb crumble Dhs40
Total (excluding service) Dhs580